Yes I should

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: “I should…”

Perhaps you’ve said it yourself. You know, things like, “I should lose some weight.” “I should watch my diet.” “I should exercise more.”

Honestly, does any of that sound familiar?

I wonder if I inadvertently am sending a negative daily message that I’m not good enough or that I can be better. Thus, I should…

Like with Weight Watchers, I have been a member for an embarrassingly long time and I am nowhere near my lifetime goal. And sadly, I think to myself, if I am paying money I should be losing weight. Makes sense, right? But it doesn’t work like that.

Dan helping me on the scale at Weight Watchers

No pressure, but any and all of this change will depend on me. But it appears that I’ve ignored this reality because I’m afraid to push myself, and that fear is rooted in thinking that trying to change will quickly become one more thing I can’t do. Or that I won’t have the energy. Or that I actually might succeed and discover problems I didn’t realize I had.

But, those fears will no longer hold me back.

True, there are times when I need to push myself to be better. But rather than telling myself, “I should be better,” as Dan and my friend Theresa says, I’m going to stop “shoulding” on myself and instead focus on being better.

I want to retrain my thinking and say that I am good. I can and will be better. I deserve that, and I plan to become the best me possible.

I am going to stop complaining about being chubby and weak. I am working with a physical therapist to reclaim my strength, and I will hold myself accountable. This means I will do my exercises and ask others to help me complete them.

I also have stopped skipping Weight Watchers and am proud to say I have lost three pounds. I am in control. And it feels good!

Exercise can and will make me look and feel better. Bonus, my husband and caregivers will thank me as it becomes easier to help me with essential transfers.

Multiple Sclerosis is not getting the best of me. So this is my charge: Stop shoulding and start doing!


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