I told Dan that I still remember the last big, long walk I ever took like it was yesterday.
My first physical therapist, Heather, and I were at the Bower Theater in Flint, Michigan, to see the musical “La Cage aux Folles.” It was highly promoted so naturally, the parking lot was packed the afternoon of the performance we attended. I found an open parking space in what felt was about a mile away from the theater, but at least I got a spot, was on time and was able to enjoy the show.
I remember everything about that May 2002 afternoon so vividly. It was just five short years after my diagnosis with Multiple Sclerosis, and I was losing my ability to walk. I kept repeating to myself, “Just put one foot in front of the other, pick up your walker, take a breath. Be patient. You’ll make it.” And I did. But that was one of the last times I went for a walk.
That is, until yesterday (November 21, 2019).
Suspended in the XY-Gantry system, I stood and took 6 steps. Six steps!
This all was part of a physical therapy program at Central Michigan University where I’ve worked with two doctor of physical therapy students (Chase and Nate) twice a week for three weeks. And in this, my third session, they hooked me up into a harness and I stood.
Then, with all my weight supported through my arms, parallel bars and the XY-Gantry, I felt my thighs contracting and slowly but surely my legs received the message and I took a step with my right leg. It felt amazing! I was so unbelievably ecstatic. So much so, I couldn’t even enjoy and live in that moment.
“Let’s do this again!” I loudly screamed to myself in my mind. And so I did, as I repeated the process with my left leg.
This time I said it out loud, “Let’s do it again!”
Nate did a great job of preventing me from getting ahead of myself. He reminded me to stand up straight. Get back to center. Be patient. Make each step count.
I did. And I counted all six of them.
This number doesn’t come close to how many I took in my last long walk from the parking lot to see “La Cage aux Folles” at the Bower Theater. But then again, I didn’t realize how important such a walk was back in 2002.
Among the lessons I’ve learned throughout my life with MS, it’s more valuable to focus on appreciation and what can be than it is to concentrate on regret and what might have been. Sure, I get sad from time to time because I no longer can walk, but it never stops me from looking forward and finding hope in each moment.
I see the opportunities that equipment like the XY-Gantry has for me in my life with MS. After all, this is the same system that enabled Dan and me to dance to our wedding song for the first time. And I now know it can help me to walk. One step led to 6, and I am riding high on the hope of doing it again and the promise that comes through working with so many of the talented PT students on campus and in our home (thanks, Liz and Ben!).