As I’m down to less than three weeks before my first 8K race (that’s about five miles to you and me!) at the Crim Festival of Races in Flint, I occasionally ask myself, “And you’re running an 8K why? After all, you do have MS, remember?” I then quickly remind myself, “That’s exactly why I’m doing it. Because I have MS.”
And the best way I can describe what this means to me is through the essay I wrote last fall for my first gradate class at CMU. While the distances I regularly run have increased since then, the crux of what keeps me going and the thoughts in my head are unchanged. I hope that over the next few weeks as I finish training for the Crim Festival of Races, you enjoy some excerpts from my essay, “Running with MS.”
I’ve been wondering about ways I could bring readers along with me on my regular running route, but to be honest this has been a challenge because I need to run my route alone. I have so much company already and I don’t think I can fit anyone else into my mind for the 4.6 miles—including a half-mile warm-up—that I run at least three times each week. And it’s always the same route, guided by the same songs, usually at the same time of day. Is this too much of the same? Maybe. Is this too monotonous? Perhaps for you I fear, for me not at all.
It seems that over the past five years I’ve kept adding to the distance, frequency, and intensity in which I run because I have so many thoughts to entertain, and if I don’t take care of them on my regular route they’ll linger until I run again. These thoughts and the reason I started running in the first place all are the fault of multiple sclerosis (MS), the chronic disease of the central nervous system that I was formally diagnosed with having in February 2000. I really don’t like having MS around. He’s a constant unwelcomed guest in my life, but I have no choice. After all these years, he has settled in and made his voice quite comfortable in my mind. MS is comfortable. I am not. So I run at least three times each week to get away and exorcise his voice. Some 1,400 miles later MS still is with me—both physically and mentally—and he isn’t leaving anytime soon.
He has made me so tired of running. …
Dan, you are one of the reasons I decided to try running a 5K. And you are right – when I am running (or walking, as I’ve been doing for months) I am able to think clearly. You may be tired of running, but your efforts inspire many of us, and that is a great gift. Thank you.
that’s what i think you and jennifer are. i love reading your blog and share it regularly with my mom. keep it up.
the first word of my post was deleted. it is AWESOME. that’s what i think . . .