Goodbye Jim

Wishing things away is not effective. That’s what a fortune cookie once told me. I believe this truism. But knowing this truth didn’t stop me from wishing that the news Jim told me a few months ago wasn’t true. Earlier this summer, Jim gently broke it to me that he and his wife were moving to North Carolina. And for as rational as I like to believe myself to be, I started to think that maybe if I wished hard enough he really wouldn’t move over 750 miles away.

I am sad because Jim is my main caregiver (next to my husband, Dan, of course). I am eligible for his help because of the MI Choice Medicaid Waiver program. This program makes it possible for me to continue living with Dan in our own home.

You see it all started with a simple question from Kathie, the nurse manager in charge of my home care. She and I were at our wits end after struggling to find a suitable caregiver to help me with my regular activities of daily living. I need help so Dan can continue to work full-time and we’ll know I’m being safely taken care of. Well one day, Kathie asked me if I would be willing to meet her husband to see if he could help me. He wasn’t technically “trained” to be a caregiver, but Kathie was hopeful Jim could be the solution for my care,  and I was hopeful and really had nothing to lose. 

Later that evening, Jim dropped by our house. He met with Dan and me. Almost instantly, we knew this would be a great match!  Over the past four years my list of caregivers has included Diana, Melanie, Leslie, Amy, Libby, Jodi, Kelli, Deb, Ellie and Jen, but my one constant caregiver has been Jim.

He’s much more than a caregiver. He’s my friend. My fix it guy. My Tiger baseball watching buddy. At times, my savior, and I’m not being dramatic–sometime I’ll tell you the story about getting trapped in our van, a little prison on wheels, from which he rescued me. We cook, our specialty is delicious banana bread. He helps me stretch and motivates me to ride my arm bike–kind of a personal trainer. Also, he’s very easy to talk to, share my frustrations with and give me spiritual insight. 

One of the greatest things about him is he’s not just help for me. He’s made Dan’s life easier. He also keeps our cat, Cooper, happy and playful. And he’s become a little trivia buddy for my dad.

I’ll miss him and all of his help, problem solving and joke telling. But I’m excited to see him move and grab his future. I’m sure he’s going to have great success and happiness, but I’m going to miss him. I don’t know if I can ever thank him enough. Or if he’ll ever know, what an impression he has made on me and countless other people in my life!

As Jim was leaving my house his last day as my caregiver, when I started feeling sad about his moving, his parting words to me were, “Remember it’s just geography.”

And that’s just like Jim. He’s right. While I will no longer see him several days a week, he will only be a phone call away. I am scared that he’s leaving yet, I look forward to an exciting future. For him and for me!

Goodbye Jim. God bless you. Good luck in your promising, fantastic future. And thank you from the bottom of my heart!!