Enough of that question

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Have you enjoyed the last week? Busy celebrating with family and friends, I bet. So are you like me ­­- and I believe most Americans – a person who celebrates with food?

Well my holidays were wonderful, but I’ll be honest with you: I’ve been celebrating since Halloween. Somehow, it’s all been downhill since then.

First it was, “One little piece of candy won’t hurt,” then, “Oh I shouldn’t, but what’s Thanksgiving without at least a sliver of pumpkin pie?” Then to Christmas and two words: cream puffs. My mom’s are delicious. And come to discover, most of the people I’ve been celebrating with are great cooks.

Weight Watchers never had a chance, and thus the question I’m growing tired of: “Are you still doing Weight Watchers?”

First time I heard that, my answer was “Yep! I’m still down 55 pounds.” And I said it with pride. Sure, there was a little voice in the back of my head was saying, “Not for much longer if you don’t watch it.” But it was pretty easy to ignore because after all, I was going to meetings and still being somewhat mindful of a healthy diet.

However, the last time someone posed this question, I couldn’t say much. It was weeks since I had last attended a meeting, no boasting about my weight loss total. Instead I blushed, fidgeted uncomfortably and stammered, “I’m looking forward to starting again in the New Year.”

Well, here it is. And here I am – a place I’ve been before, but I can’t believe I’m here again. I must lose weight! Not just for appearance or clothes fitting properly or even for my health so much.

But it’s for Dan and my caregivers. And for what I still have that my MS hasn’t taken from me: my ability to stand and make transfers, and besides, managing my weight is something I still can control. Sure I find comfort in food but what comfort is food when my caregivers can’t lift me or Dan complains of having a sore back?

Gaining weight is selfish, and that’s where my MS is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because it gives me a very good reason to lose weight. It makes me realize that I function day-to-day with help, help that I want to and need to lose weight for. And it’s a curse because losing weight no longer is a choice I make on my own. The disease is indirectly calling the shots.

Any way you slice it, I am going to lose weight in 2010, for Dan, my caregivers, and most importantly for me. And as much as Dan hates it when I say it, I am so back on the horse!

Anyone want to get on their horse and ride along with me?

3 Responses to Enough of that question

  1. Good for you. It is a worthy and worthwhile goal. I changed my diet six months ago and have lost 30 pounds….but I still want to lose 20 more. So I am with you.
    How did I do it? I cut out the white stuff. No bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, etc. I eat whateever I want, except that and it is working. Plus, I don’t feel like I am dieting. There are just some thigs I don’t eat….plus I am eating smaller portions.
    The last 20 is the hardest. I wish us both luck.
    Michael

  2. Go Jennifer, go!
    As a fellow WW member who has mostly dropped off the wagon… I’m right there with you! You don’t want to give up on everything that you’ve already accomplished! YOU can do it! WE can do it!
    – Barbara

  3. Let’s ride, Jennifer! It seems like I’ve been nibbling non-stop since Thanksgiving. I have no idea what I weigh — I can’t weigh myself without weighing my power chair too — but I’m sure it’s more than I weighed six weeks ago, and every extra pound is one more that Scarecrow has to shift several times a day, getting me from place to place. It seems like the least I can do is keep his job from being harder than it already is. Saddle up, pardner!

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