When my dear friend Jen became engaged to “The One” (Adam), my friends and I were prepared for a great shin-dig! Oops, I mean a very beautiful, elegant wedding.
No one would have expected anything less from Jen. After all she was our go-to party-planning maven. As we expected, she took care of every wedding detail. I was particularly touched because in all of their wedding plans, the happy couple thoughtfully made sure their wedding would be accessible for me and my wheelchair.
I’m pretty sure Jen and I made the hotel staff crazy with our repeated questions such as, “This is an accessible hotel room, right?” and “The bathroom at the reception facility has grab bars and a wide stall, doesn’t it?” We were satisfied with their comforting responses and were prepared for a completely accessible wedding extravaganza.
At least, that’s what we thought.
After making the 120-mile trip for Jen and Adam’s big day, Dan and I were sorely disappointed to check into a suite cluttered with superfluous decorations and furniture. It was lovely but hardly accessible. At one point Dan had to clear a path for me just to make it into the bathroom.
And the bathroom. Accessible? Not so much.
We had asked if there were grab bars in the bathroom, but we quickly learned there’s a big difference between the sturdy functional grab bars we needed and the glorified towel bar we got.
This suite was not going to work for us, and there were no other accessible rooms available at the hotel for us to stay that night.
This reality was painful, but after talking with the hotel manager, we learned that we should have asked for a “barrier-free” room. She apologized for the misunderstanding and gave us a voucher for a free weekend stay in the resort’s barrier-free room at a later date. She then called to hotels in the area and located a fully accessible room in a hotel 20 minutes away so we could enjoy the wedding and reception.
Which we did!
In addition to having a great time and learning to ask for a barrier-free room, through our stays in other hotels we’ve learned that not all accessible rooms are created equal and it always helps to ask questions.
I’m left-side weak so it’s always better for me to have a grab bar on the right side of the toilet for help in making transfers. If we get to our room and the bar is on the left side, I check to see if there is a different accessible room with a right-side grab bar. Usually there is, and the hotel staff is very willing to switch our reservations.
Even in the most spacious of rooms Dan always has to move some of the furniture – usually the nightstand or an extra chair – to make it easier to maneuver my chair. If you need to do the same, don’t be afraid to call the front desk for assistance.
I’ve merely scratched the surface on things we’ve found helpful in traveling with MS or any disability. Remember traveling is supposed to be enjoyable, and it can be with the right preparation and some flexibility for unforeseen situations.
Where to spend the night when we travel is only half the journey in traveling with MS and a disability. Check out our most recent post on the National Multiple Sclerosis Society Blog about trick we’ve learned to make traveling on the road more manageable in spite of this disease we share. “On the road with MS” • NMSS Blog
This was an eyeopener. I had assumed handicap accessible was also barrier free. Now I know it is not. Thank you.
I so understand your pain. I remember, back in the day in 1983, when MS was new to me, and I was taking my first trip with my friend and my wheelchair to San Francisco — the Sheraton Palace (before renovation) assured us of its’ accessibility. The main entrance had three steps to get to the front desk; they had a (movable) ramp off to the side of the entrance lobby. So we checked in, but our room was being used for an extra day, and rather than kick the interlopers out, they put us into a VERY non-accessible room for a night. We were moved to our room the next day.
When we returned later in the day through the corner entrance, we discovered another set of stairs; The staff had to move the ramp for us! Of course this was not the main entry, and the ramp was usually in the front (for the luggage carriers, doncha know?), and over the ten days we were there we never knew where the ramp would be. It became a bit of a farce. One time I actually got out of my w/c and walked down the stairs leaning heavily to the railing. It was faster that way. I wonder if they thought we were playing a joke on them.
To their credit, the accessible room was spacious, and the bathroom was huge with grab bars everywhere. Aside from the entry stairs, and the first night, we had no problems. And the memories of our can-do attitude has lasted us a lifetime.
I’m glad things worked out for you. You cannot ask too many questions when traveling!
Live and learn. One of my favorite cities in the world is Paris. It is also the least accessible city that I have ever visited. We got an accessible hotel room and learned that the word accessible meant that a wheelchair could get into the room and that’s all. We were told that we needed a modified room and that was not available. Apparently and for good reason, the older the city, though less accessible it is. The good news is that people and businesses are becoming aware of the need and making changes.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us all, I have had an experience where I had to take my son up 5 stairs and then I reached the lobby of my very much accessible Hotel. Then they sure had a lift But that was out of service. So They gave us the room on the same floor. But the room wasn’t up to the standards and It was very tine. Moving the wheel chair was very difficult. SO I asked them to change our room and the next one which we got was a bot better. We all have bad experiences it really teaches us what to do and what not to. I always make sure to talk to someone from the Hotel staff now before booking any room.
Thanks for checking in, Amanda. Sounds like you had quite the experiences with hotel accessibility! Indeed, it’s all like a big learning lesson to make sure everyone’s on the same page, and the hotel knows exactly what we all need for a comfortable stay.