35

Well, I guess it’s time to face it. This Friday, November 6 is my 35^th birthday. And yes, I am freaking out about it.

I’m not exactly sure why, after all it’s just a number. But 35 is just a bigger number than I care (or are prepared) to be.

Maybe it’s because this birthday marks the beginning of middle age. No seriously, hear me on this: If I live to be the glorious age of 70, 35 is half of that. That’s middle age…Eeek!

Me ­- a middle-aged woman. When did that happen?

Plus this birthday is hard for me to deal with because lately my MS is causing me a little more headache than I’m used to. I guess I should call it a footache to be more accurate. I have my first pressure sore which is on my foot, and trust me they are just as painful as they are made out to be.

All I can think is you must be kidding me! This disease is not just happy with the fact it took my walking and my driving, now it’s trying to make me miserable with pain all day.

Not only is it that, but it’s making me feel sorry for myself. This is a challenge and temptation that those of us living with chronic illness or disability face almost every day. That whole “Why me?” type of thinking, and I have to stop indulging in that kind of pointless waste of energy.

So I’ve compiled a list. Hopefully this list will keep me going in the dark days of middle age. Hee, hee… That serious, dramatic, doom-filled tone helped me see how silly I’m being and made me smile : )

Without further ado, here are 35 things that I’m thankful for:

35. Dan, of course.

34. Getting to dip my toes in the beautiful Pacific Ocean.

33. Owning a convertible back when I used to drive.

32. I have an amazing family, especially my parents (Thanks, mom & dad).   Bonus: I love my in-laws.

31. Supportive, wonderful, hilarious friends.

30. All of my great memories from college.

29. Delta Phi Epsilon sorority and all of the great friends I made because of  it.

28. Memories of my dog Buster and the day-to-day life with our cat, Cooper. Pets rule!!

27. The waiver program which makes our life better every single day.

26. Simpsons clouds.

25. Dan’s smile and laugh.

24. Laughter altogether.

23. Dragon NaturallySpeaking.

22. The roof over my head and the clothes on my back.

21. A shiny new manicure.

20. Delicious birthday cake, and not having to count points for it. Hey, it’s my list and I can dream if I want to : )

19. Afternoon hour-long insane phone conversations with my BB.

18. My church family at Immanuel Lutheran.

17. Summer of 1993: innocent stuff like watermelon seed fights and getting caught cheating at euchre and some other less innocent memories.

16. Good times up north with Amy at Aunt Cindy’s.

15. Being able to walk when I went to Europe.

14. Heck that I even got to take a trip to Europe.

13. Good music to chair-boogie to.

12. Clean sheets & good hair days.

11. Realizing in 5 years it probably won’t matter (Thanks, Nora).

10. Did I mention my amazing husband Dan and my wonderful family?

9. The CMU story festival and being able to share our story.

8. That he’s not married to her anymore.

7. Fresh tomatoes in the summer.

6. No cavities at the dentist.

5. Playing a good game of Scrabble.

4. Universal design and handicap accessible restrooms.

3. Other than having MS, Dan is in good health.

2. Other than having MS, I am in pretty good health.

1. Believe it or not, Multiple Sclerosis (after all, it helped me meet Dan and taught me to appreciate life).

This really is a pretty good list! I encourage everyone who is struggling with a dark day to make a similar list of their own. You might be surprised by all of life you have to be thankful for.