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It was early in the morning and I was ready to leave for work. A travel mug full of black coffee in my left hand; car keys in my right.

Jennifer rolled down the hallway and asked, “Hey, Dan? Would you have time to help me go to the bathroom one more time before you leave?”

And so I stopped, set my coffee and keys on the floor next to my briefcase, and met her in the bathroom.

As we prepared to make the transfer from her power wheelchair, Jennifer looked up at me and asked, “Do you ever get tired of me always asking you to help me go to the bathroom and all the other stuff you do to help me?”

It certainly wasn’t the first time she’s asked me such a question, but this time I had a more descript response than my standard reply of, “Never. Do you ever get tired of all the stuff you do to help me?”

I then knelt down to get eye level with Jennifer and asked her if she remembered the time back in 2002, just after we just started dating, that I drove back to Iowa by myself for Thanksgiving. And so, there in the bathroom, I shared with Jennifer what had consumed my mind for that 18-hour roundtrip drive to Monticello, Iowa, and back to Mount Pleasant, Mich., some seven years ago.

Imagine that: A tender moment, in the bathroom.

I told Jennifer that for the entire trip I searched for answers to my questions of whether such a relationship could work between two people with MS. Was I going to be strong enough to care for her as well as for myself? Was she going to be strong enough to care for me as well as herself? I threw around the reality that she no longer could walk, and Lord knows how my disease was going to treat me in the future.

It was early enough in our relationship that I think we could have mutually agreed a marriage likely could prove to be more than either of us could handle and MS would force us to, “Just be friends.”

When I returned from Iowa, I had made my decision, and unless Jennifer felt otherwise, I wasn’t happy with just being friends.

Fast-forward to 2009, and it was at that moment, in the bathroom, that I fully realized I am living the answers to the questions and prayers I had contemplated on that trip to the Hawkeye State.

I told Jennifer, “On that trip to Iowa, this is what I prayed for: that one day I’d be so blessed as to have you as my wife and we both would be healthy enough that I would be the caregiver for you and you for me, and we didn’t let MS prevent us from being happy together. So no, Jennifer, I don’t mind at all. This is what I had prayed for.”

And I’m not going to lie: Saying this out loud to Jennifer kind of freaked me out because I felt a lot like I was quoting right from the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” You remember? When they spent their wedding night in that a drafty, creepy, leaky old house and Mary Bailey said to her husband, George, “Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for.”

It’s quite interesting how often real life imitates the movies.

Like it or not, it’s fall. The leaves are changing - lots have already fallen off the trees. Temperatures are dropping. The heat is on at our house. And I’m sporting sweaters way more than T-shirts. Yep, as much as I dislike it, fall is here. Which means winter is around the corner.

Depressing, isn’t it?

Rather than sulk (because sulking is fruitless), I’m remembering one of my favorite memories of this summer.

It all came about because of my rambling at a church gathering that was at a beautiful home in Mt. Pleasant situated on the Chippewa River.

“You know this is the year I’m floating the river. Not sure how, but darn it, I’ve lived here 4 years and that is something I’ve always wanted to do!”

I just assumed that because I can no longer walk, this dream was just that. A dream.

But as I soon learned, my rambling was heard by the right people ­- a Can-Do Bunch of people.

One quiet Sunday this summer, our phone rang. I answered and heard, “It’s a beautiful day to go canoeing and floating. What do you think? Can you meet us at 3 p.m. at Buckley’s? We sure think this might be the last nice day. And Gary, Peggy, Charlie and I think we’ve found the perfect spot to put you in. So what do you think?!?”

After a moment, I recognized the excited voice. It was Sue, a very excited Sue. And after another moment, I realized Sue was serious. That little statement of mine a few weeks earlier was heard by her, Gary, Peggy and Charlie, and they were going to get me on that river. And I was getting on it TODAY.

“Really, Sue,” gulp, “Today? You want to float the river today? Like today, in 5 hours?”

My mind’s racing: Come on tough girl, you’re not scared are you? Duh! Of course, I’m scared. Think Jennifer, think. Dan, surely he’ll object. He’ll think it’s a crazy idea too.

“Let me check with Dan, Sue. Just a sec, okay?”

“Hey Dan, Sue et al (truly that’s what I said, apparently fear brings out my slightly academic side) want to float the river today …”

“Sure, sounds great! What time?” he calmly asks.

Um, okay. Didn’t see that coming, but if Dan thinks I can do it, I probably can.

“Well it’s a plan, mind if I ask Sue and Dave to join us? And what does one wear when floating the river?” I quickly ask.

“Sure, call them, the more the merrier. Um, shorts are good. See you later this afternoon!” Click.

Ah, jeez, “Dan let’s go get me some shorts at Target. And then, I’ve got to shave my legs. Yikes, we’ve got to hurry. I’m floating the river at 3 o’clock.”

I say it again quietly to myself; I’m floating the river at 3 o’clock.

To be continued … I promise

Here's proof I made it onto the river!

OK, so it’s been several weeks since we’ve checked in with you. Hmmm… Let’s see. Guess we’ve been busy:

• Settling into a routine with our CMU graduate class, “The Legal Search for Social Justice”

• Volunteering at our church – Immanuel Lutheran Church – with Jennifer serving as a Vacation Bible School teacher and as a temporary receptionist while our regular receptionist recovered from surgery, and Dan serving as a member of a special action planning process committee

• Cheering on our CMU Chippewa football team that is off to a 3-1 start, including a 29-27 upset over Big 10 interstate rival Michigan State University

• Celebrating Dan’s 37^th birthday with a weeklong trip to Walt Disney World

• Helping each other stay positive while dealing with the realities of life with multiple sclerosis  

We’ll write about these experiences in future blogs, but we first wanted to tell you about a couple of exciting events that we’ve been invited to participate in and share various stories and perspectives about our life together.

Here’s information about where you can catch us in Mount Pleasant this month:

CMU Disabilities Awareness Fair
Saturday, Oct. 17

Featuring vendors, speakers, children’s events and more, this fair will be the highlight of the university’s month-long effort to increase disability awareness.

• 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

• Finch Fieldhouse, Central Michigan University

• Free and open to the public

• Our presentation is scheduled for 11 a.m.

Michigan Story Festival
Friday, Oct. 23, to Saturday, Oct. 24

This two-day event offers a complete showcase of the power of storytelling in all its art forms.

• 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. (Saturday)

• Various locations, Central Michigan University

• All Saturday events are free and open to the public

• Our presentation is scheduled for 10 a.m. Saturday in the Chamichian Recital Hall of CMU’s School of Music Building